Top films of 2012 (better late than never)

 A little late in the new year to be doing this, but I like to think of this as being fashionably late. 5 most notable films of 2012 . Also I like countdown lists with numbers. 

1.     Moonrise Kingdom.

The poster for Moonrise Kingdom is misleading. From an outsiders point of view it looks like one of those kooky try-hard films where everybody and everything is weird for no apparent reason. Don’t get me wrong Moon rise Kingdom is all these things but for the right reasons. The rather complicated plot consists of a misunderstood boy scout named Sam (Jared Gilman) and his misunderstood Missus Lana del Ray Junior aka Suzy.  With Sam fed up with being the loser in the scouts and Suzy fed up with being ever bored with her middle class family the pair decide to elope together. However being 12 years old it doesn't quite work out the way that they planned and everyone from  the sweet old policeman (Bruce Willis) from stick up their arse social services (Tilda Swinton) sets about trying to look for them.  Everything from the costume to the murderous boy scouts to the slightly perverted relationship between Suzy and Sam  is weird,kooky and off the wall but at the same time loveable. By the time the film had ended I wanted to take Sam home, put him in a little cubbyhole and look at him whenever I feel sad. Moon Rise Kingdom is (in my very important opinion) the best film of   2012. It makes me feel glad inside that my mother forced me to go instead of the one my sister suggested ‘ that one where Kirsten Stewart runs around with all the little men’, which was bollocks. A topnotch film with a topnotch soundtrack and little people cute enough to eat (which is saying something as I hate small children).

2.     Batman- The Dark Night Rises 

He came back, he was still black (well his costume was) and angrier than ever before. In the Dark Knight Rises Christian Bale took up the mantle of Batman one last  time. After The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan was faced with a bit a challenge as let’s face it, Heath Ledger  was leg-end as the Joker. However he nearly managed to pull it off. Even though Batman acts like a spoilt child for half the film given his wealth and fortune, he’s still got it;  the brawn, the gadgets and a wonderful purpose to smash a lot of stuff up. Like any great superhero he must overcome his foibles, and in this installment Batman is thrown into ‘hell’ by Bain (evil bad guy with mask) and must escape to save his beloved Gotham. It was my personal view that ‘hell’ didn’t actually seem that bad. Everyone was actually really nice to him and helped him escape. Although the storyline does resemble that of a bad Tom Cruise movie ‘Oh My God There’s A Bomb’. The end twists and turns like a corkscrew on a rollercoaster.  The Dark Knight Rises is visually impressive and ties the trilogy together nicely like present with a bow on top .And Christian Bale is rather attractive. Completely forgot to mention that part.

Bit limited on the colour scheme there but there you go... 

3. Anna Karenina

 If you are of a shallow and aesthetically pleasing nature (such as myself) then Anna Karenina  was of the best films of 2012. Although Keira Knightley pouts and cries very well as the Russian Duchess, Aaron Johnson makes all the young ladies think ‘How delicious’, and Jude Law waltzes around stage feeling misunderstood with a receding hair line, it is the Jacqueline Durran, costume designer who is the real star of the show. The story line’s not too shabby either (Yes well done Tolstoy). It’s your classic, married rich woman (Knightley) falls for young attractive man (Johnson), she leaves her husband (Law) and they decided to bugger off together and live in shame.   However one of the more befuddling aspects about Anna is:  if you’ve got a wardrobe like that, what’s with all the crying. You look great and your son is really cute. I mean I know being humiliated in public for the sake of an affair isn’t all that fun but at least you look bloody brilliant doing it!  Like all great stories it end in a tragedy with Anna being hit by a train whilst looking very beautiful at the same time .Saying that I would of consider hitting her with that train just so I could steal her clothes. I am of course joking… well sort of.




                  

4. The Hunger Games

 No, it’s not a film about a pie eating competition, although I probably don’t need to tell you that as Hunger Games is set to be as big as that Twilight nonsense. Set  in dystopia America where food is short, children are slaughtered and the rich and poor divide makes David Cameron and some rude boy from Peckham seem like brothers. In this seemingly unpleasant world one boy and one girl are  selected from each of the 12 poor districts as tributes and  must fight till the death in an arena until only one tribute remains alive for the pleasure of mean old President Snow and his fashionable bastard Capitol. In the midst of this xenophobic madness stands our beautiful  heroine and selected tribute Katinss (Jennifer Lawrence). Katniss is a refreshing bitch of a heroine, for in a world of Bella’s and Fifty Shades of Grey bimbo’s it’s nice to  see a young woman actually taking care of herself and beating the shit out of others to survive instead of getting a man to do it for her.  Katniss struggles through the arena, in this case a lovely old wood, saving her star-crossed lover Peta, also from district 12 from their murderous cohort. They are both made champions whilst giving President Snow the  proverbial finger in the process. Laced with sentimentality and emotional pitfalls that include Katiniss shrouding a murdered 12 year old in flowers, Hunger Games gives an ironic nod to the voyeuristic and materialistic society we live in today whilst also promoting and funding one of the largest cinema corporations today. Funny old world isn’t it….

5. The Hobbit

This is it. The Big One. The One we’ve all been waiting for. Yeah I know, I stole that from Harry Potter. The plot is pretty simple. Bilbo, a hobbit is summoned upon an adventure with Gandalf and load of short men also known as dwarves and their grumpy bastard of a leader Thorin Oakenshield. Bilbo goes on said adventure and they all get into lots of mischief together which in three installments is going to take nine sodding hours to watch. The CGI isn’t fantastic and the dwarves all rather seem like lads on a boys night out, congratulating each other on how fantastic they are and farting rather a lot.  However the film does have one saving grace. Gollum. He’s terrifying, hilarious and is possibly the only character in the film that makes you feel excited (except for Aiden Turner as Kili but that’s a completely different story). You should also be warned that after watching Gollum you will come out saying ‘ and if it loses Baggins we eats it whole!’  for a week. However this can be quite amusing if said to someone in their sleep. Unfortunately Gollum leaves us to lament the loss of his precious and we’re back with Mr. Sour face Oakenshield who seems to hate everyone and everything except his precious mountain. In conclusion, The Hobbit isn’t bad but it’s not great, it’s not the highly anticipated phenomena that we expected from the director of Lord of the Rings and if I were J.R.R. Tolkien I would make Peter Jackson sit in the corner by himself and think about what he did.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnnYSj5i1Pk

So there you have it. the most notable films of 2012 aka the films I saw and remembered well enough to write a decent review of them. I hope you all enjoyed it. I know Marcel did....