So there's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that I stupidly thought that Les Miserables was set one of the France's zestier time periods. The French Revolution, where man turned on man, Marie Anoittone threw cake from the balconies of Versaille before having all her pretty things taken away and then had her sweet little head all loped orf. As it turns out Les Mis is actually set 28 years after all the fun and excitement happened. Boo you Victor Hugo! (he's the guy who actually wrote the book) Boo you! The good news is that lots of other exciting things are happen to cheer us (mainly me) up.
The story's a bit of a messy one as it stretches over a twenty year period but I shall do my best. Our hero, Jean Valjean (the ever lovely and delectable Hugh Jackman) is doing time under the very beady eye of France's most self-righteous officer Javier! ( the grumpus Russell Crowe.) Jean is freed, gains a new identity thanks to a kindly old priest (religion you can't beat it) and starts a new life. He somehow becomes mayor of a quaint little town (two fingered round of appaulse) and is genuinely lovely, wonderful and very attractive. However trouble is afoot in the form of Javier! The obsessive bastard has made it his life's mission to find and capture Jean and send him back to where he belongs. A metaphorical spanner is placed in the works in the form of Fantine (skinny bald Hathaway) factory girl turned prostitute who unfortunately dies whilst singing a lovely song about the world being a happier place leaving behind her daughter Cosette which I though was a piece of clothing but never mind. Anyway, following Fantines dying wish Jean snatches Cosette away from the clutches of the mischievous Monsieur and Madame Thenarider (Boham Carter and the amusing Baron Cohen) with Javier! hot on their french leather made heels. 9 years elapse and we are caught in the midst on another revolution. Huzzah! Well, not really it's just a bunch of french hippy rich boys with nothing better to do. At the helm of this not so very great revolution stands Marius (pretty boy Eddie Redmayne) and his feisty counterpart Enjolras (Aaron Tveit akaTripp from Gossip Girl) .The pair whip themselves a following declaring blood and revolution on France and so on and so forth. Marius catches sight of grown up Corsette, they instantly fall in love and become besotted. However revolution calls and Marius fights along side his 'brothers' wasting a lot of good furniture by throwing it into the street and shouting a lot. Jean rescues Marius from the showdown, trampling through the french sewers whilst meeting Javier! at the end. Javier then decides to let it go and then kills himself but not before tap dancing on some of France's finest bridges. Marius and Cosette get married and Jean buggers off to a convent looking all sad and depressed, dies and then ascends to heaven with the aide of Fantine. Now I've never been to heaven myself but in my view it wouldn't be a lot of French people on a ship waving French flags and singing things about France.
Told you it was a bloody long story line.The film is spectacular and epic. And there's singing. Lots and lots of singing. In fact you should only really go and see this film if really really like singing. A lot. Whilst there's nothing wrong with a bunch of Hollywood actors warbling their heads off (for their all really good at it. ) The score itself isn't all that, the songs are all far too similar with everybody wallowing in self pity. It's also one of those film that won't just finish and die. Right all the revolutionaries are dead, Film over? No. Right. Javier has decided to top himself through the medium of dance. Film over? No Corsette and Marius get married. Over? No. Jean Va Jean dies. Wooohoo we have reached completion. At long bloody last. Les Mis is entertaining, a bit sad with all the poverty and death and what not and full of ballads so depressing you wonder why your alive. A 7/10 with an extra point added as I enjoyed Russell Crowe's tap dancing. Who knew he had it in him.
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